Am I doing enough?

As a homeschooling mom, there is this question that hangs permanently over my head, Am I doing enough? Many of us are embarking in this journey with opposing family members, with pressure to perform, to have our children excelling and proving to the world that they are as good or better educated than their public or private school counterparts. Why is it we have these doubts, these assaults to our confidence that we are suitable teachers for our children?

Six years ago I was a teacher in the public school system. I saw good teachers as good as many mothers that I'm meeting who homeschool, or should I say I see moms who homeschool who are as good as many of the teachers I met? However, I see many questions in this group of moms, even I have them from time to time, and I did not have any of those doubts when I was a teacher, even in the beginning years when I had much to learn and when I did not have all the knowledge I had when I left the schools years later.

Ying and Yang

My theory is that when we have a profession such as teaching, we are seen as capable, others visit your class, you take exams, go to inservice and staff development trainings, the children like you, the parents appreciate your job, the principal observes you and gives you indications to improve and in most of the cases we are told we were doing a good job. Then we become moms, and how many people you know that are moms (I bet more than teachers), and we say we are going to homeschool, and how many homeschooling moms are teachers? Not as many, and even if they have it, such as my case, we don't transfer our confidence from our teaching days to our home settings, I believe because house wives suffer from lack of self esteem, and even when we have good self esteem, this business of doing things by ourselves, being our own boss, having the humility of understanding how much we don't know, makes us be sincere and excessively critical at times.

I believe it's barely now that I'm learning to be a good teacher, much more than in my years in the schools. And I'm decided to not be haughty but not to be shaky in my believes either. I'm determined to answer the question and say YES, I'm doing enough. I'm not perfect, Lord and you know it, I don't know it all, I'm far from efficient some days, I need to improve in many areas but I'M SUFFICIENT, I'm what my children need, I'm willing to learn, I'm willing to improve, and I'm ready to PRAY for your guidance and strength.

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